Grace in Progress with Camilla Spradley

My Story

For many reasons growing up, I struggled with my confidence. As far back as I can remember, I didn’t feel like I was enough in so many areas. Not attractive enough. Not accomplished enough. Not bold enough. As I grew older and learned more about myself, the feeling lessened, but it never disappeared.

I met my husband in college, and we married in 2014. When we found out we were pregnant with our first child in 2015, I prayed that it was a boy because I had full confidence in my husband’s ability to raise an amazing man who would be a leader.

However, I had little confidence in my ability to raise a phenomenal, confident woman; I did not want to pass on my brokenness.

How could I raise a strong woman when I didn’t believe I was one? I didn’t feel worthy to have a daughter. However, God thought differently—twice!

We now have two beautiful daughters. I’ve found that motherhood has a way of unearthing all insecurities you have and compelling you to strengthen those areas. While it’s been challenging to push pass how inadequate I sometimes feel to be the best mother for them, I receive unconditional love from them every waking moment.

They love me simply because I’m their mother. They are a complete joy to be around with all the giggles, funny things said and done, and just the growth I see in them with every passing day. Seeing their smiling faces everyday just brings me such pure, indescribable joy. I love them just because they are mine. Their unconditional love reminds me that I don’t have to do for them—I simply have to be. And that is enough.

There’s nothing they could do or not do that would make me love them any less.

Seeing them grow up makes Ephesians 2:8-10 come alive to me. I am God’s masterpiece. I was saved through grace, not any work of my own. God created me in Christ Jesus for good works. But not good works that I have to do by myself. This Word tells me that He already prepared the good works for me. All I have to do is walk them out.

God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God.

Salvation is NOT a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

Ephesians 2:8-10 NLT

The Impact of God’s Grace

God’s grace has been my everything. It gets me going in the mornings because I know the Word says surely grace and mercy shall follow me everyday of my life. It gets me through the long overnight hours when our seven month old baby girl wakes up. It compels me to show grace to our three year old when she has her difficult moments.

All I know is no matter what motherhood throws at me, God has already graced me to be able to handle it. When any difficulty comes, I have a tendency to mope. God’s grace always comes to sweep me up when I call out to him.

His grace has also caused me to extend grace to others. Just thinking about how much grace He has for me makes me more patient, gracious, and forgiving. For that, I’m grateful.

Parenthood is a Constant Teacher

Parenthood is such an amazing, constant teacher—you never stop learning. In this season, I have learned how important words are when speaking into my family’s life. I’ve seen positive words build up my three year old’s confidence in a matter of weeks. I’m learning to be intentional about what comes out of my mouth when talking to and around my daughters—specifically my three year old.

The more I encourage her, the more I’ve noticed her encouraging herself. Building her up is helping me to rebuild myself. I’m learning that words create reality. I’ve got to open my mouth and speak over myself even if I don’t believe the words just yet. They shape how we view ourselves and others.

My Encouragement to Other Mothers

To other mothers, if the thorn in your side is low self-esteem, allow motherhood to make you over. Let go of the image of a mother you think you want to portray and be authentically you in the Lord. We don’t have to be perfect, nor do we have to get everything right.

We are specifically designed to raise our children for their purpose. God’s grace is sufficient for whatever shortcomings we may have. All we have to do is go to Him in all things.

We are graced for motherhood.

Sincerely,

Camilla