On the morning of my 25th birthday, my Dad posted these words on my Facebook:
“The Biblical meaning of 25 is Grace upon Grace, or Grace Multiplied. That is my belief for your year ahead…grace, goodwill, favor multiplied! Every place you set your foot, every person you encounter, every celebration and every challenge will be marked by multiplied grace…favor.”
It’s funny reflecting back on that day and how I anticipated what all those words would mean. One thing is for sure; a father’s (and THE Father’s) words have significant impact. However, hard things can be filled with grace too.
Related Article: Grace
Wrestling with Grace
Grace. This word can be complicated or like a breath of fresh air. It has been a word I’ve wrestled with.
Growing up, I was a tomboy and a clumsy kid. “Grace” was often a nickname used for me as a joke. At the age of 5, I remember how I simply loved Jesus and knew I wanted to be with Him. I longed to learn his Word, hungered to understand it, and had a passion to live it all out even at such a young age. This was a child-like, first love faith. It was my first encounter with grace.
As I experienced more life, I began striving to earn God’s grace. By the time I entered college, I was desperately craving grace. Then, after a year of ministry post-college, I reached a new level of burnout and brokenness. I knew something had to change. I had been working for Jesus yet neglecting to love on Him and receive His grace-filled rest.
Related Article: Finding Rest in the Journey with Simone Parke
Despite knowing grace was something I could never earn, I still went in circles trying to work harder and do better; often not feeling good enough I began to seek the approval of others along the way.
I was carrying unnecessary weight, relying on my own strength trying to be perfect. This was certainly an incomplete understanding of God’s grace. I often felt stuck in this cycle. Grace is certainly a free gift, but in order to partake in its benefits, one has to be willing to receive it. One cannot freely extend grace when they have not freely received it.
Breaking the Cycle
The good news is that the cycle can be broken. No matter where you find yourself on the grace spectrum–from not believing in grace to struggling to accept it– there is hope, and freedom is possible.
Here’s what has worked for me. Only when I humbly confessed how desperately I needed Jesus, asked Him for help, and admitted I was in need of grace was I able to receive the rest my soul desperately needed. I then began seeing His Word as alive and very active in my life again.
As I began prioritizing being with Jesus again and practicing rest, the child-like faith I’d once had reignited.
I’ve learned we all need grace for our journeys. We need it more and more every day to surrender striving and receive rest in exchange.
Through spending time with Jesus, we can learn a new cycle: returning, receiving, resting, then extending grace.
Related Article: Resist for Strength
Encouragement
Two practical things I’d encourage you to consider:
First, find a close, safe group of people you can regularly practice being completely vulnerable with and who are committed to doing the same with you. In doing this, we are able to both receive grace from others while giving it back.
Secondly, try keeping a grace log. Anytime you experience grace, write it down; practice looking for grace in situations, even if they feel unfavorable. When you look for grace, it can be found.
I want to leave you with these verses:
2 Corinthians 12:9 is one verse that became very real to me in difficult times.
But he answered me, ‘My grace is always more than enough for you, and my power finds its full expression through your weakness.’ So I will celebrate my weaknesses, for when I’m weak I sense more deeply the mighty power of Christ living in me.
2 Corinthians 12:9 TPT
“And now out of his fullness we are fulfilled! And from him we receive grace heaped upon more grace!”
John 1:16 TPT
In our weakness we have a beautiful opportunity to experience God’s strength, which is far greater than our own. After experiencing the death of my own will, I received grace to be embraced by Jesus’ comforting arms and those closest to me and that is my hope for you too.
May you receive grace heaped upon more grace!
Emily
